A contest for writers who like to pen extremely short essays

The 11-Word Essay Contest, with a swell prize to the winner, is calling your name

It's back by popular demand, a ghost from the long ago past when contests were a regular feature of my newspaper column.

I'm talking about the 11-Word Essay Contest that a number of readers have been demanding I bring back.

I wasn't sure about the logistics of such a contest compared to the one I regularly sponsored in my newspaper days, but I think I have it figured out.

So, in the spirit of Christmas, here it is, including a swell prize to the winning entry.

Every contest, of course, has to have rules, but they will be kept to a minimum here.

After all, it's an 11-Word Essay Contest, so things are pretty much at a minimum to begin with.

Here, in no particular order, are the Ten Commandments.

First Rule: The essay must be exactly 11 words in length. Not longer and not shorter.

Second Rule: Hyphenated phrases count as two words, contractions as one.

Third Rule: "thewaryone.com" counts as one word.

Fourth Rule: No subject is off limits. (Off limits is not hyphenated.)

Fifth Rule: Contestants are limited to 100 entries. Strictly enforced.

Sixth Rule: Entries can be posted in the "comments" section or sent to me directly at bobdunning@thewaryone.com.

Seventh Rule: Keep it clean.

Eighth Rule: You can ignore the Seventh Rule.

Ninth Rule: You can make up new words willy nilly (willy nilly is also not hyphenated). Just put a space on both sides of the made-up word so I can count it.

Tenth Rule: Punctuation, including exclamation points, is allowed without limit and does not count as a word.

A few examples to get the juices flowing.

"If Donald Trump goes after journalists I am moving to Manitoba."

"Davis decided to solve our difficult homeless problem with a bulldozer."

"Pickleball players have taken over every single tennis court in town."

"If you can't make an argument in eleven words, give up."

"Mary had a little lamb, its fleece was white as snow."

As for the swell prize that goes to the winner, my Sweetheart and I will invite you and your Sweetheart (or enemy or whatever) to dinner at the restaurant of your choice in Davis.

If you live in Outer Mongolia as several subscribers do, a suitable gift certificate will be arranged.

Entries are due by the stroke of midnight on Monday, January 13 in the Year of Our Lord, 2025.

(Kids are more than welcome to enter. Please feel free to send me questions if anything here wasn't clear. Just make sure that the question contains exactly eleven words.)

Reach me at bobdunning@thewaryone.com

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