Bob's Picks - Nailbiters and Cupcakes as the college football season finally gets underway

USC-LSU, Notre Dame-Texas A&M, Georgia-Clemson, Miami-Florida headline a tough week for football forecasting

So here we are at the beginning of another college football season, this one perhaps like no other with the transfer portal, massive NIL packages and runaway sports gambling changing the game we love in ways we couldn't have imagined just a few short years ago.

Be that as it may, I've boldly offered my fearless football forecast in print every year for the last 55 seasons, so there's no point in stopping now.

Please note that the teams I select to win each week are not necessarily the teams I hope will win the game. They're just the teams that I think will win. There's a big difference.

I'm a huge Oregon State Beavers fan. I was born that way. It would have been much easier to have been born an Ohio State fan. Or an Alabama fan. Or this year, an Oregon Ducks fan. Oregon, in fact, is my pick to win the whole enchilada come January.

More often than not, however, I pick the Beavers to lose, even if I want dearly for them to win.

I was on a radio talk show on Sirius XM this morning out of New York, a place where folks know absolutely nothing about college football, even though Columbia does have 22 guys who walk around campus wearing helmets.

On that show I picked USC over LSU as my "Upset of the Week," and in less time that you can say "Buy me some peanuts and Crackerjack," I got an email from my friend Tim saying I had hurt his heart, which is absolutely the last thing I would want to do.

Last year I got an angry email from a chap named Bill asking "Why do you hate Stanford?" I don't hate Stanford, Bill. I just don't think they have a very good football team.

Truth be told, since the University of Spoiled Children selfishly bolted for the Big Ten and left the historic Pac-12 in disarray, I have trouble rooting for the Trojans in anything. But I do think they'll win this game and that will be my Upset of the Week in this column. (Details below).

You should know that these picks are strictly for fun, and using any information presented here to risk the mortgage can lead directly to hypertension, premature baldness and tooth decay.

I do hope you enjoy this exercise - sometimes in futility - as much as I do.

My win-loss percentage will be bravely presented each week at the bottom of the column no matter how miserably I do.

Now, if I can just find that magic coin I flip before making each selection, we can get started.

This week's picks are as follows:

TCU over STANFORD ... There I go again, Bill.

GEORGIA over CLEMSON ... Just imagine, one of these college football bluebloods is going to be winless after the first game of the season. Congratulations to both teams for scheduling this one instead of playing the Little Sisters of the Poor as everyone else does. (I'm talking about you Alabama and Auburn and Ohio State and Washington.)

NOTRE DAME over TEXAS A&M ... Another shout out to two teams not scheduling a cupcake from the Bakery League on opening day. Will this be the year that Touchdown Jesus finally brings a national championship to South Bend? We know He can change water to wine and multiply loaves and fishes to feed the masses, but the Irish going all the way might be His biggest miracle yet.

PENN STATE over WEST VIRGINIA ... This one's in Morgantown, an always difficult place to play, but with a 12-team playoff, Penn State has its eyes squarely on the prize.

OKLAHOMA STATE over SOUTH DAKOTA STATE ... One of the most intriguing matchups this weekend as the sky-high Cowboys take on the two-time defending FCS national champion Jackrabbits and their remarkable 29-game win streak. Overlook these Wabbits at your own peril, Elmer Fudd.

FLORIDA STATE over BOSTON COLLEGE ... A lot of excuses are being made for the Seminoles' Disaster in Dublin, but it looked to me like the better team won. And boy is ESPN lamenting scheduling this dog of a game for prime time on Labor Day.

MICHIGAN over FRESNO STATE ... The Fighting Harbaughs have too many weapons for the Bulldogs, but wait, where is Jim Harbaugh? Has he been suspended again?

TEXAS over COLORADO STATE ... The Longhorns are loaded for bear. Or in this case, Ram.

MIAMI (Fla.) over FLORIDA ... The Hurricanes win the Ron DeSantis Bowl.

UPSET OF THE WEEK: USC over LSU ... Two coaches who were paid big bucks to bring home the ultimate trophy, but have failed to do so. Can you spell h-o-t  s-e-a-t?

ROUT OF THE WEEK: OHIO STATE over AKRON ... This one will be called halfway through the National Anthem when the Zips realize this isn't lacrosse.

DON'T BET ON IT, BUT: COLORADO over NORTH DAKOTA STATE ... Coach Prime and his merry pranksters take on the Mighty Bison, a perennial FCS power.

FIVE EASY PICKS: Bet the rent money on these, Martha. This week's money-back guaranteed winners are Oklahoma (over Temple), Utah (over Southern Utah), Auburn (over Alabama A&M), Alabama (over Western Kentucky) and Oregon (over Idaho).

UC DAVIS AGGIES over CALIFORNIA ... In recent years, the upstart Aggies have taken down the likes of Stanford, Tulsa and San Jose State, but they've had 11 shots at the Golden Bears and failed every time. Take the Ags by 2.

OTHER GAMES: Oklahoma over Temple, Illinois over Eastern Illinois, Michigan State over Florida Atlantic, Wisconsin over Western Michigan, Iowa over Illinois State, Purdue over Indiana State, Pittsburgh over Kent State, Navy over Bucknell, Ole Miss over Furman, Kansas State over UT Martin, Baylor over Tarleton State, Memphis over North Alabama, Texas Tech over Abilene Christian, Kentucky over Southern Mississippi, Brigham Young over Southern Illinois, Georgia Tech over Georgia State, SMU over Houston Christian, Louisiana Tech over Nicholls, Utah State over Robert Morris, San Diego State over Texas A&M-Commerce, Rutgers over Howard, North Carolina State over Western Carolina, Wake Forest over North Carolina A&T, Kansas over Lindenwood, UAB over Alcorn State, Tulane over Southeast Louisiana, Army over Lehigh, Duke over Elon, Iowa State over North Dakota, Tennessee over Chattanooga, Cincinnati over Towson, Nebraska over Texas-El Paso, Iowa State over North Dakota, Arkansas over Arkansas Pine Bluff, Toledo over Duquesne, Missouri over Murray State, Louisville over Austin Peay, Northern Iowa over Valparaiso, Northern Arizona over Lincoln (Ca.), Air Force over Merrimack, South Carolina over Old Dominion, Marshall over Stony Brook, Mississippi State over Eastern Kentucky, Liberty over Campbell, Oregon State over Idaho State, Washington over Weber State, Arizona over New Mexico, Washington State over Portland State, UCLA over Hawaii, Montana over Missouri State, and Montana State over Utah Tech.

Reach me at bobdunning@thedavisenterprise.net