Is the honeymoon over for J.D. Vance?
Can Diet Mountain Dew man survive sudden Republican disillusionment?
WHAT MIGHT J.D. VANCE AND THOMAS EAGLETON HAVE IN COMMON? ... Could it appear that a whisper campaign will turn into a roar and Donald Trump will look J.D. Vance straight in the eye and say "You're fired."
After his Diet Mountain Dew joke about racism offended both his own rally-goers and the makers of Diet Mountain Dew, the mean, nasty liberal press dug up a three-year-old interview J.D. had with Tucker Carlson where the veep-to-be disparaged crazy childless cat ladies who he thinks are running the country, resulting in Purina Cat Chow pulling its endorsement.
The next thing you know, Joe Biden pulls out, handing the Democratic presidential nomination to Kamala Harris and suddenly a sure Trump victory has turned into "Game On."
This disturbing turn of events has the Trump team wondering if maybe they should have picked a moderate who might actually appeal to crazy childless cat ladies instead of offending them.
Someone like, say, Mother Teresa. Or Liz Cheney. Or Nancy Pelosi if she's available.
Instead, they're stuck with a guy who has "MAGA" tattooed on his forehead with an exclamation point next to it. No balanced ticket there.
This all comes 50 years to the day when Democratic presidential nominee George McGovern said he was "110 percent" behind his vice presidential pick, Thomas Eagleton. That was before rumors circulated that Eagleton had suffered from depression and underwent electroshock therapy, which was more than the electorate at that time could bear.
Eagleton's tenure on the ticket lasted all of 18 days.
Donald Trump named J.D. Vance on July 15.
The clock is ticking.
WHO MIGHT EMERGE IF J.D. GETS THE BOOT? ... Republicans would want this to look as smooth as possible so that the average MAGAmaniac might not even notice.
The Candidates:
J.D. Salinger: This would avoid confusion because even Donald Trump wouldn't have to be told he had a new vice president. Just keep saying "My friend J.D." Of course, Republicans would have to stop their campaign to ban Catcher in the Rye from school libraries.
Cyrus Vance: Former Secretary of Defense who, like J.D. Vance, is a graduate of the Yale Law School. He also has strong hillbilly credentials, having been born in West Virginia, even if no one at a Trump rally has even the slightest idea what the word "elegy" means. (Neither does the Above-Pictured Columnist.)
Joyce Vance: Well-known MSNBC analyst who, if this hillbilly stuff is really true, is no doubt related to J.D. is some way.
Dazzy Vance: Major League Baseball Hall of Famer who threw the first no-hitter in Ebbets Field (Brooklyn) history. Dazzy was known as a "deceptive curvist with a cyclonic delivery," much like a J.D. Vance stump speech. Another plus is that he was born in Orient, Iowa, which Trump assumes will help with the Asian-American vote.