Valentine's Day - A special day in all its glory

Is it the thought that counts or the gift - or both?

A word to the wise.

Don't forget Valentine's Day.

You can forget a birthday and you can forget an anniversary and you can forget to roll the garbage cans out to the street on Thursday night, but trust me, you can't forget Valentine's Day.

Valentine's Day is sacred. And special. And arrives on the same day every single year.

So you can't say, "Oh, it was on the 14th this year, who knew?"

In our family, the big brother to every sibling who followed was born on Valentine's Day, which makes this day doubly or even triply special.

Growing up, I remember when this was a big day in kindergarten at Central Davis School, which used to occupy the space where local farmers now sell rutabaga and radishes on Saturday mornings.

We'd all get a box of those crunchy heart-shaped candies that featured sayings like "Be Mine," or "Cutie Pie," or "Hot Stuff" or "I'm Yours."

It wasn't until many years later that such expressions were considered much too possessive and suggestive for our young minds.

There were also small and silly cards that you could sign and pass out to one or two of your special friends.

But then one day a few years later, the edict from the principal's office stated that if you wanted to do a card exchange, you had to bring a card for everyone in the class so no one was left out or had their feelings hurt.

Yes, Davis was way ahead of the game when it came to Diversity, Equity and Inclusion.

Nowadays, of course, some folks will argue that such a rule was the beginning of the downfall of Western Civilization.

If you grew up Catholic when I did, you were also reminded that it was really St. Valentine's Day in memory of a third century Italian who died in Rome on February 14, 273.

He is the patron saint of couples in love, of course, but also of epilepsy, fainting, the plague and beekeepers. He does double duty when he encounters a fainting beekeeper.

Valentine's Day has now become a major commercial event that rivals Halloween in terms of the amount of money spent on gifts and gatherings.

I can't fire up my laptop without encountering a dozen ads trying to convince me of the perfect gift for my sweetheart.

How about a $14 card that when opened instantly pops into a small bouquet of fake flowers?

Cute and clever, to be sure, but fake flowers don't make the grade on this romantic holiday, especially when the experts at Strelitzia have been right around the corner making floral magic for over 50 years.

One catchy ad I saw offered "ultra-comfy women's, men's and unisex robes in a wide variety of fabrics and styles," which might be fine but for the fact that just this morning the Trump administration permanently banned unisex robes and threatened to deport to Greenland anyone caught wearing one in public.

There's also a pack of 30 cards from Marina Abramovic that teaches you how to spend a blindfolded hour listening to nature or how to hold your breath 10 times in a row. (But don't try those two things at the same time.)

How about the Super Mario 540-piece Lego Piranha Plant, which is sure to induce a migraine as soon as you open the box.

There's also an "ethically sourced" chocolate bar, a pillow case with the photo of your sweetheart's favorite pet and a two-pound tin of Cougar Gold cheese from Washington State University that has to be opened with a can opener.

Cheese in a can. Wow. How much more romantic can it get than that?

The "Three-Year Journal for Two" features one question a day for each couple to answer for the next three years, a total of 1095 entries, or 1096 if a leap year is involved.

I can just see the lovely couple all snuggled in on a cold winter's night when one of them sits bolt upright and screams out loud, "We forgot to do the diary."

There's a $105 plain old flannel shirt from Pendleton, much like the one I wore to Miss Montgomery's fifth grade class at West Davis Elementary.

Even the male model wearing it looks disappointed.

One intriguing gift comes from "The Night Sky" which will provide you with a personalized art print that "depicts how the cosmos looked" on the exact night you met.

This "celestial image depicts the stars as they were at your chosen time and location. Your beloved may or may not believe in fate, but giving them a depiction of how the stars aligned on your special date is sure to resonate."

That's all well and good, but the Red-Headed Girl of My Dreams and I met in a steamy laundromat in Northern Idaho in broad daylight and the only stars that were out that day were in my eyes.

My favorite, though, of all the suggestions that came my way, was a simple greeting card with a drawing of a bedroom dresser and the words "Someday you'll find this card in a drawer and we'll still be in love."

Priceless.

Reach me at bobdunning@thewaryone.com